When a relationship is ending, little makes sense. This is even more evident if you are the person who is being abandoned. Depending on how compassionate your lover is, they can easily try to disappoint you. A very common phrase that people hear during a breakup is “you deserve someone better.” If you’re on the receiving end of that, you might be a bit baffled. What exactly does it mean, and what should I specifically say in response to it?
When your lover says “you deserve someone better,” you are probably interpreting it to mean that they believe they are not good enough for you. It’s heartwarming when someone says that because you assume it means they really value you and think they can’t measure up. However, don’t get carried away until you really understand the intention behind the words. Your ex is counting on you to take it as a compliment, when you really shouldn’t. All they are probably doing is trying to easily disappoint you.
The belief behind the idea that you deserve a better partner suggests that your ex is not valued enough. You are a great judge of whether that is true or not. If your ex has never shown any signs of having self-confidence issues, then you know that they already believe they are the best and this is just a clumsy attempt to break up with you without breaking your heart.
The best way to respond when someone tells you that you deserve to be with someone who is better is to agree with them. Obviously, you shouldn’t tell your partner that you think they are lacking if you hope to have a future with them one day. But it’s a great idea to agree that, for now, the two of you may not be the right match.
The reason this is such an effective response for them is that it takes control away from them and returns it to you. You are no longer the one who wonders what their words mean and you are not left with the impression that the reason they left you was because they wanted to free you to find a better partner. Your ex is now the one feeling the confusion and wondering if you ever saw them as a compatible partner. The benefit of this is that you will still be on their mind and they may even set out to prove you that you are wrong and that they are, in fact, perfect for you.