I do not know the details of your situation. Perhaps your spouse is just frustrated in the marriage. Perhaps he or she has taken it further and has already asked for a divorce or breakup. Perhaps you have simply made a mistake and want to apologize to your husband and wife, to start over or for another opportunity. Whatever your circumstances, I strongly believe (from my personal experience and research) that there is a right way and a wrong way to approach your spouse about this. This article will discuss what I believe is the best way (with the highest probability of success) to convince your spouse to give your marriage another chance.
The wrong way to defend your case or ask your spouse for forgiveness: No matter what you’ve done, the first thing to remember is not to panic or act in a desperate way that alienates your spouse. It’s absolutely understandable that you don’t want this marital pain, misunderstanding, or damage to continue or last longer than necessary. It makes sense to think that the longer your spouse is angry or hurt, the longer it will take to repair, save, or get the marriage back on track.
However, it is important to remember that acting unstable, desperate, or exaggerated (for example, teasing, reprimanding, and making excessive attempts to communicate with your spouse (repeatedly calling, texting, pleading, etc.)) will likely only serve to they make you seem less attractive and out of control.
Instead, at every opportunity you can, present yourself as a genuinely caring spouse who respects both yourself and your spouse enough to communicate with him / her in a dignified and honest way.
Tea Right way To ask your spouse to give your marriage another try or better: Perhaps the problems in your marriage are genuinely your fault. Maybe they are not. I really can’t or don’t know the details or your situation. No matter what brought you here, I think there is a right way to get you out.
First, if you haven’t already done so, put yourself in the position of your husband or wife. How do you feel right now? What do you really want to solve this situation? What can you do to achieve this while maintaining your integrity and dignity?
(Hint: What most spouses really want is for their spouses to identify with them, understand how they feel, and care deeply about those feelings.)
So if you’re going to apologize and ask for a second chance, do it in a very specific way. Please indicate exactly why you are sorry. Tell your husband or wife that you have thought a lot about the marriage and the situation and that you suspect they are feeling (you should fill in the blanks here with your honest assessment of how your spouse is feeling). Ask them if this is correct and ask them to share their feelings with you. Listen without interrupting or correcting them in any way. Apologize for her feeling this way and tell her that you are in pain too and that you will do everything in your power to end that pain. Then outline your plan. (This will vary depending on your particular situation. Do you remember when you put yourself in your spouse’s shoes and thought about what they wanted? Consider this when formulating your plan).
If your spouse is not receptive, or wants to argue or fight back, publicize the situation. You should not allow more negative emotions to enter the situation. Your goal is to start presenting positive feelings. Please understand that this may take a while.
What to do after asking your spouse to listen to you: Your spouse may not be receptive at first and you shouldn’t push them or lose your patience. Forcing your hand or begging for a definitive answer will likely weaken your position.
The best thing to do is, at every opportunity you get, to present yourself as a patient, loving, and understanding partner who fully understands that your spouse is worth waiting and waiting.
Extremely regularly, you want to introduce your husband or wife to the best version of yourself – the person you probably first fell in love with. Believe it or not, you probably have an advantage here. Your spouse fell in love and married you once, so you know what it takes to earn their love and devotion. You just have to achieve this again, despite your current situation.
Later, if necessary, learn what it takes for a strong and long-lasting marriage. You don’t want to repeat the same mistakes, and once your marriage is back on track and strong enough to handle it, you’ll need to address any recurring or major issues that may keep coming up and weakening your marriage.
