To be good with women, one must be truly willing to let go of previous beliefs. In fact, the fewer beliefs, the better.
The trick to being successful with women is simple: one must be willing to move their consciousness OUT of the ego/mind and into the Heart. The deeper our understanding of unconditional love, the less suffering we will experience.
Now, let’s see what these beliefs-errors are…
TOP 10 mistakes men make with women
1. They are too easily ‘sold’ to a woman simply because she pays attention to them or looks pretty. A beautiful woman can be like ‘kryptonite’ to a lonely man. We forget to rate women, and end up trying to rate ourselves for her (talking too much, trying to impress her, etc.).
2. We believe that being ‘nice’ and accommodating will make him love us. But being nice is often just a needy, childish way of manipulating women: “Look how much I’ve done for you!” We do favors for women, we set aside our own values, we give gifts, we throw compliments, and we think this is what will make her want to reciprocate. Being nice is often an immature way of begging for attention and love. Of course, being kind, considerate, and nice are all good things, as long as we’re not faking it to get something from others. So the intention behind our behaviors is something we need to take an honest look at.
3. On the other hand, some men make the mistake of thinking that they need to act like ‘idiots’ to get women. These men used to be rejected too many times. We’ve all witnessed beautiful women in the arms of ‘idiots’ and secretly thought, “Is this what women really want? ‘Bad boys’ and ‘idiots’?” We are not aware of the actual selection processes that women have, we are in the dark; We often think we know what women supposedly want, but most men don’t really know what goes on inside the minds of so-called “attractive women.”
4. We try too hard. Always afraid of “rejection”, we often try to appear to be something we are not: perfect. So we talk about our achievements, we share our ‘greatest stories’, we use our best jokes and deep down we think that women will not accept our sensitive, tender and human side. We show (and even exaggerate) our best side, but we hide certain aspects of ourselves because we think women will disapprove. So we try to mask or cover up the truth, and women usually know that.
5. Almost all men seem to have this problem: We hesitate to “escalate” things to an intimate level. We are afraid to take her hand, to hug her, to kiss her. Why? Because we don’t want to “offend” her. We don’t want to scare her. So we end up chatting all night, and she goes home wondering if we’re not attracted to her, and wondering if “we’re not a man” and so on. It would be so much easier if we could figure out what our core fears are and “transcend” (go beyond) them. When the blocks of fear (and insecurity) are removed, our inner knowing (wisdom) shines through.
6. We believe that a phone number has value. As soon as we get a good response from her, we ask for her number and then wonder why she doesn’t answer when we call her. We even brag to our friends, “I have 25 phone numbers tonight!” Great, that’s 25 girls who probably won’t return your calls. In most cases, phone numbers are simply a way to get rid of a guy, so that he feels good about himself and leaves her alone. This is just one of the many reasons why it becomes imperative to know if the woman you are talking to has integrity or not. Without Integrity (which is rarer than we tend to realize), a healthy relationship is impossible anyway. So “getting her number” doesn’t mean success, but the ability to tell if she’s an honest woman or not definitely does.
7. We let women make the decisions and take the initiative. When she was asked, “Where do you want to go tonight?” we actually respond, “I don’t know! Where do YOU want to go tonight?” We have lost our Yang. Women want to let go, they want to be taken on a fun adventure. They want a man they can trust to make those decisions, and they want to follow in our footsteps. It’s not about being a “control freak”, it’s about leadership and confidence. “Be in control, but not control.”
8. We let women “control” the conversation and talk about whatever they want to talk about. Next thing you know, we’re in an intense conversation about school, paying taxes, her ex-boyfriend… Chances are, if you let her lead the conversation, she’ll take over the conversation and screw it up. Our lives would be so much easier if we knew how to steer the conversation in a more useful direction and let us know quickly if she is an honest woman or not. Again, without Integrity, there is no chance of true success.
9. We are too insecure to “think out loud”, and we question ourselves and end up nervous. We don’t want to put our foot in our mouths, so we play it safe and end up coming across as just another normal, normal, boring, logical guy (since that’s what insecure men are). Insecurity is a very important issue, and it’s one that we can’t “cover up” with “attraction techniques” and “pickup lines” and pretend to be something we’re not.
10. We subconsciously fear “success with women” and all that goes with it. For example, do you realize that if you’re really good with women, you’ll end up losing some of your best friends as a result of jealousy? Being nice to women is also a big responsibility and requires some very fundamental changes in attitude.
Now, most men are too proud to seek help in this area. Many men even deny it. I can’t tell you how many men I’ve met who actually go online and argue with other men about “what women are like,” and all the beliefs they’ve built up…and people will generally do more to uphold a belief. system that improve their lives.
Being successful with women is not about using lines, tricks and techniques. That’s what cowards rely on, it’s used to cover up the fact that they’re not sure of themselves. This is really THE problem, and it is due to being stuck in the ego/mind. (Mind/body identification.)
However, when men are willing to sincerely open their Hearts, it is there that true wisdom is found, and this wisdom is within everyone’s reach. But, we cannot access this wisdom unless we are willing to take the first step, which is to become extremely HUMBLE…
Only with HUMILITY can we let go of our limiting beliefs and open ourselves to new understandings and wisdom.
Currently, consciousness research has estimated that less than 4% of today’s population ‘comes from the Heart’.
Very often, we confuse need with true love, and we give our power away to others because of this confusion. This is what seems to be the source of ALL dating and relationship problems.
Now, women seem to be especially good at spotting need, and I think there’s a lot of overwhelming evidence that our need is the biggest turnoff. Maybe this need tells their brain that we wouldn’t make a good father, lover, friend, partner…perhaps it’s really hardwired into their brains to avoid needy men?
I’m not sure, but one thing I do know is this:
Learn to open your Heart, TRULY open it, and the need, the number one ’cause’ of our problems with women, will simply disappear.
many blessings,
Stéphane Hemon, http://www.ideaGasms.net
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