It seems so easy. Can anyone waste time chatting with celebrities for an hour? If you have a hot celebrity like our neighbor north of here, Bruce Willis, he takes over the show and you can sit back and enjoy. That should be easy.
The other night Bruce Willis appeared on Letterman and I could hardly wait for it to come out. At first, I couldn’t see what his joke was going to be. Then he turned his head. The right side of his face was covered in pellets.
Not long ago, he bumped into Letterman in a green suit. I don’t remember why. I just know it was fun and I hope Bruce Willis has fun when he appears on a show. I can’t imagine what it would be like if it appeared on the Daily Show. He and Jon Stewart would blow us away, right?
Leno had a sexy actress on the show last night. She is single and prefers dogs to men. He has six dogs, as I recall, and travels with four of them. People are interested in dogs, so their appearance was a success. (No!) The actress had large mammary acorns and they were somewhat exposed.
Normally Jay would spend a lot of time talking about how sexy his guest looks, but the young actress was too sexy and there was nothing to say about her appearance.
By ignoring the sexual issue more than a casual comment his wife was watching, Jay had a better interview than he usually does because he talked about the actress’s interest and not her interest.
The interview was almost the same as the last time this beauty appeared on his show, but no one seemed to care. They were there for the view.
Talk show interviews are not enough to keep you interested. Often the interviewees are mindless idiots and as boring as the mud from a dairy. Paris Hilton appeared on the Letterman show and couldn’t provide an answer to the simplest question. He had nothing to say and that’s what he said.
Other activities should be included.
The public wants a structure in the show that allows to surprise. Without that, the show is dead.
Did you see Oprah give the cars away?
That was a media event.
Did you see Letterman walking Oprah, arm in arm, across the street to the theater?
Did you see Letterman’s crew throw watermelons from the Sullivan Theater building onto the street below?
And that’s the point of this article.
The job of a talk show host is to make sure the audience is continuously entertained.
Leno is a comedian and therefore uses him as his forte. Letterman is a clown and he minimizes that part of the show. When I say “downplay” I mean that he keeps his monologue short.
Helen Degeneres likes to dance on her show. His dancing is horrible and I always hit the channel button when he does it.
Some tricks do not work for bearded elders.
If I were to ask you how Leno and Letterman compare to Johnny Carson, you would probably say there is no comparison.
Carson was the master of the monologue (and parody) as were Jack Benny and Bob Hope and Rodney Dangerfield and ten other comedians you know. So the monologue is not everything.
Letterman generally does a better job interviewing than Leno, but none compares to Jack Paar, Johnny Carson, Jon Steward, or Fred Allen.
They manage.
Leno likes to make fun of people and things.
He doesn’t see the irony as a comedian like Jerry Seinfeld but he sees the obvious.
He likes to go outside and interview the flowing floating debris. He is sexually minded and usually looks for something sexy in every woman who walks down the street (and who joins him in a celebrity chat). Letterman is also a woman tracker, but to a much lesser degree than Leno. Leno seeks lust in men.
Last night Leno was asking the audience to guess if the people on the street had a tattoo. The audience was very good at this. Everyone had a tattoo but one, and you guessed that too.
This kind of mischief is good because it draws the audience to the show. They are participating. He does the same when he asks the audience if a particular strange item was sold on eBay.
Letterman uses sideshow tactics to make people laugh. His parody Will float it’s a competition between him and Paul. The audience is not directly involved, but each person in the audience forms an opinion. So you get the same effect.
What do the girl with the rings and the girl with the pinwheel and the two standing girls have to do with this act? Everything! Each image needs a frame.
The most important factor for a person who has to stand in front of a television audience night after night or day after day is to develop an ongoing relationship with each member of the audience. This is not an easy thing to do for some people.
Letterman is not a personal guy. Keeps things close to his chest.
Leno is something like that, but Leno has a warm, almost caring personality, and people identify with him.
Look at Leno with animals versus Letterman.
Letterman wonders if the animal is going to urinate on him.
Leno hugs the animal and loves it. That carries over to the audience.
Oprah is a bunny of monumental warmth. Everyone loves her and wants to get close to her too. (That should make your life hell.)
Leno is to be replaced by Conan O’Brian in a few years. Conan now lacks what it takes to succeed in that role. He’s primarily a clown and probably doesn’t have a serious bone in his body. He likes parody. After a while, your tactics can get tedious. But the host is not the whole show. Conan should do well because he is well known, he will have more experience and will have good writers and program directors who will make the show have a successful format. Those writers and directors should start practicing now.
Jon Stewart is hosting the Oscars this year.
Letterman completely failed in that task. He made an absolute idiot of himself and still regrets it.
Jon Stewart will be a huge hit if he doesn’t get too tacky. I think it will entertain the actors more than the television audience. That is a risk you must take.
Success on the Oscars show will likely provide Jon with greater opportunities than those offered on the Comedy Channel.
Watch out for Letterman and Leno!
