For so many couples who break up, that’s it… final… it’s all over! This is usually due to just a couple of reasons.
The breakup of the relationship was very traumatic for one or both partners. The one who got ‘dumped’ had no idea what to do about it and probably did some very inappropriate things like begging, calling names, threatening to do something bad, following his ex, etc.
The reason for the breakup seemed insurmountable. There seemed to be no way to begin to undo what had been done or to change the way the relationship ended up.
There are many other reasons, but these two are the most common reasons for doing nothing. You must focus now, not on the past, but on the future. Forget about the breakup, the reasons why it happened and who is to blame and take a new proactive approach to this situation today.
You need to start rebuilding your self-esteem and project a more desirable persona that your ex will want to actively pursue. Do you think wallowing in self-pity and looking like you haven’t slept for days will make them feel this way? Obviously the answer is no. He or she will feel like they did the right thing to break up with you safely. You must love yourself and be confident and happy to project your attractiveness again.
This is your starting point and it will take a bit of time to achieve. To turn your life around and get back together with your ex after a breakup, make a real effort to be smart and date. For starters, don’t go out where your ex is likely to be. Mingle with men and women and get comfortable in social situations again.
Of course going out is the last thing you want to do, you feel so bad, even heartbroken and wanting to cry, sleep and lock yourself up. It will be difficult, but go out and do it. It’s surprisingly easy once you get started. An easy way to do this is to go get a haircut and buy something nice to wear. Then call a good friend and go out to dinner, without overwhelming them too much with your relationship breakup issues. So, first outing accomplished.
After this, you can think of some more things to do. A visit to a new gym to prove it. A trip to the zoo, a quick swim, and a relaxing session in the hot tub. These are all easy, non-threatening situations and you will begin to expect to do these things.
If you see your ex while you’re out, wave, smile, and calmly walk by. If they talk to you, be lazy and friendly, stay away and don’t make any suggestions to meet us; if they suggest it, say you’re too busy and maybe they’ll call you back in a few weeks.
Another thing you should do is adopt the no contact rule.
Don’t be tempted to contact your ex at all. No calls, texts, emails…no contact. This also applies to your friends who do this on your behalf. This is designed to pique your ex’s interest. They can’t help but wonder where you are and why they haven’t heard from you, even though they broke up with you!
