In my travels across North America speaking about motivation and human potential, I hear the same question repeatedly: “How can I be more assertive?” There is no doubt about it, there are people in our life who are detrimental to our health and we don’t like it at all.
I wrote the following report in response to the question: “How can I learn to deal with the difficult people in my life?” From the reaction I’ve had to this report, it’s proving useful. I want to say emphatically that what you read here will do nothing to improve your situation unless you have the courage to use the suggestions given. Go for it! Worth the effort.
TOXIC PEOPLE…
rob us of our dignity
destroy our confidence in ourselves.
increase our stress levels.
destroy our morals.
It erodes our self-esteem.
encourage negativity.
decrease productivity.
make life hell
they are abusive
they are toxic because they can get away with it and it works for them.
HOW TO DEAL WITH TOXIC PEOPLE
Remember that you can’t change toxic people, but you can learn to deal with them. Here are some effective strategies to try.
* Always stand at eye level with the person you are facing. Never have them standing over you looking down.
* Respect the toxic person and always expect respect in return. Settle for nothing less.
* Keep calm.
* Listen carefully.
* Don’t argue or interrupt, just listen.
* Don’t accuse or judge, just express how you feel.
* If the toxic person tries to verbally intimidate you, just say, “I don’t allow people to treat me this way.” Then slowly and calmly walk away.
* When someone is being toxic with you, this is a powerful and easy-to-use response because you don’t have to say a word. In the middle of a toxic attack just PAUSE… LOOK AT THE PERSON, NO EMOTION… TURN AROUND AND WALK AWAY. Works!
* Anger is sometimes a valid response.
* If all else fails, you may only be left with one option; to separate yourself from the toxic person in your life.
YOU DON’T EXIST TO BE SOMEONE’S PERSONAL JUNK.
