When a young person fails to make a team at school, he or she can feel quite disappointed, hurt, angry, and upset. Similarly, the child’s parents may be very unhappy with their son or daughter’s setback.
There are a number of things that parents can do when their child is cut from a school team. Some of the ideas mentioned in this article refer to strategies and tactics for parents and children before tests. Others are about what to do after your child doesn’t make the team.
First, it’s important to have an accurate understanding of your child’s strengths and weaknesses before testing is done. Have a competent and honest coach evaluate your son and find out what he needs to work on before he starts the season. If possible, have your child talk to the coach ahead of time, so she can get an idea of what the coach or coaches are looking for.
Second, determine how serious your child is about his sport. Some children want to play at a competitive level, while others prefer to play at a recreational level.
Third, get an idea of what other students have done to make the team. For example, if your child is a tennis player or golfer, ask him or her to work with a coach who has many students who have made the school team in the past.
Fourth, determine if your child is more comfortable with individual sports or team sports. This is very important, and parents should realize that this preference may change as children mature. One of my patients went from the soccer team to the golf team in his freshman year of high school. He came to love golf and preferred an individual sport at this point in his life.
Do not immediately call the coach to complain. Often this is not the correct strategy and you can set a bad example for your child if you proceed this way.
If your child doesn’t make the team, make sure they feel loved and supported by you. Your son needs to feel that he is okay, whether he plays catch at school or not.
Remind your child that Michael Jordan had a hard time making the school team.
Talk to your child about continuing to work on his sport and ask him to consider trying again next year. Remind your child of the value of trying hard and hanging in there.
Talk about the possibility of playing another sport or getting involved in another activity.
Consider teams not affiliated with the school.
Use this setback as a teachable moment where your child can learn something about being resilient and courageous.
Consider speaking with the coach, so you can learn more about what he or she is looking for in athletes.
Determine if your child needs help with skills, brain training, self-confidence, strength training, or nutrition. If he or she does, she may want to consult a professional in the appropriate field.
