My kids love reality shows. I mean, if I were to be honest, I’d say I’ve been watching and loving them for years, too. Didn’t it all really start with MTV’s Real World a long time ago? Well, okay then. I was there. Which is why I think I can safely give an educated opinion as a viewer and as a therapist that I’ve seen reality TV do more harm than good to real relationships.
Think of all the celebrity couples you’ve seen on various reality shows. They are dropping like flies! I mean, has anyone really thought about the success stats for The Bachelor? How many couples have actually tried it?
How about our beloved Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey on MTV? Didn’t we all see how fame helped that couple destroy themselves before our very eyes?
Even friendships were put to the test. Remember Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie? Their reality show was a huge hit, but it was canceled shortly after their longtime friendship hit it big.
I didn’t watch the Hulk Hogan show much, but it started out as a family show; now there is a divorce and problems with the children.
Jon and Kate Plus 8 didn’t do too well either, huh? One of my favorite shows has practically imploded. You know things are bad when Kate has been on the cover of countless celebrity magazines for weeks at a time.
Let’s explore why…
Problem #1
There have to be consequences when there are cameras in the middle of your relationship. Even if they are there once a week. Either you are going to try to hide something from the cameras or you are going to perform for the camera. Either way, you are not responding naturally to the presence of the cameras, and therefore you are not acting naturally in your relationship. I know, I know, celebrities are always telling us that they forget the cameras are there. But let’s be serious. It’s hard to ignore a man and a camera walking around sitting right behind you in your living room!
Problem #2
Putting on a reality show is not a vacation but work. There are producers who want certain stories to unfold. Who wants certain shots. Who might want you to look a certain way. Bringing that level of “work” into your home and your relationship can change the dynamic. Now you are in a business partnership as well as an emotional partnership. Sometimes the two don’t mix well. Think if you worked with your spouse all day and then came home together and then went out together and then slept together, and on top of that the cameras are watching everything!
Problem #3
Fame is a drug. Isn’t there a famous rock song about that? I’m not sure, but what I do know is that fame is not easy for people who have been searching for it all their lives. So imagine ordinary people who thought it would be “cool” to document their lives for future prosperity. What they thought would be a fun and exciting thing in their life turns into this huge famous monster. Yes, there are perks like sponsorships or product placement, giveaways, and high pay per show (sometimes). But there is always a cost to that fame. Constant exposure. People judging you in a public forum. And, of course, the people who value fame and what it brings them about the relationship(s).
Problem #4
The relationship may not have been that strong at first. Now mix in the added pressures of being on TV in front of millions of people and watch how quickly that relationship is put to the test. The weakest relationships don’t stand a chance.
I’m still rooting for a few remaining relationships to get it done: Run’s House, Gene Simmons Family Jewels, and yes, even The Duggars!
