Why do parents need advice on how to start this conversation with their children when they ask “where do babies come from?”
Could it be that they are afraid? What are they afraid of?
I know I was until I asked myself, “Why am I afraid to talk to my son about sex?” I realized that all the reasons I was afraid to talk to my kids about sex had nothing to do with reality. I was scared just because of what I was imagining.
An imaginary conversation:
– “Where do babies come from?”
– “Inside mommy’s belly.”
– “How do they get there?”
– “There are seeds inside mommy, just as there are seeds inside fruits.”
This could be the end of the conversation or it could continue.
The goal is to answer the question as truthfully and simply as possible given the child’s age.
Once a child is aware of his genitals, there is nothing wrong with explaining how “the seeds inside mom” are fertilized.
What are we so afraid of? What do we imagine would happen if we told our son about sex? Are we afraid that it will make them want sex? Or what?
There really is nothing to fear. Everything is imaginary.
Therefore, the main advice on how to start this conversation is to overcome your fear, which comes from your imagination. Once you can see past her fear, you can literally hear what your child is asking and respond appropriately to the real question, not what you imagine the question means.
Note that it is not the parent who initiates the conversation. It is up to the child to initiate it. The children start the conversation by asking the questions. Just answer the real questions. It is easy to listen when you are free from your fears. Remember, your fears are the result of what you are imagining, not the result of any real danger.
