There will be days in the life of a married couple when they question whether they should move on or separate. Sometimes these thoughts are temporary and are the byproduct of a rather lively argument that got out of hand when insults started being thrown at each other. Other times, the desire to end the marriage is based on longstanding frustration or dissatisfaction with the relationship as a whole. When a couple finds the emotional courage to tell their spouse that they are no longer happy, there are actually two things that can happen. Either the couple agrees to separate for a while, or the person their partner tells that the marriage is over will react badly. If you are a husband and your wife recently told you that she would like to spend time away from the marriage, you may have fallen into the category of an involuntary participant in a separation. If that sounds like you, you need to consider what is best for not only your marriage, but also for you and your wife as individuals.
It is part of human nature to want to protect the things that are of vital importance to you. That’s why when the subject of your marriage breaking up comes up, you react in a way that suggests to his wife that you won’t have anything to do with it. You may have stormed out of her room at the mere mention of a temporary separation, or perhaps you told her that you can’t live without her in an effort to blame her for reconsidering. Regardless of the approach you ultimately decided to take, your wife now sees that you are ready, willing, and emotionally capable of fighting for your marriage. That’s romantic in theory, but right now your wife isn’t looking for you to play Prince Charming, she just wants you to understand her needs and help her meet them.
Taking time away from each other can seem like a relationship failure on the surface. That’s not what it is at all. In fact, it can be the mature way to regain focus and reconnect on an emotional level. It’s often hard to see the good in a person when you’re always in a negative place. If you and your wife have reached a point in your marriage where arguing is par for the course, staying in the same situation is not going to work for any kind of positive change. They will continue to argue, the tension will build, and eventually they will both just throw their hands up in the air in utter frustration and decide that divorce is the answer.
A time out or temporary separation gives you breathing room and, most importantly, perspective. If you take a step back from conflicts, your temper will calm down and all the difficult emotions that have been going around will finally calm down. You’ll start to remember the best times you and your wife shared, and so will she.
The best gift you can give your wife if she asks for space or time is to be compassionate in giving it to her. Don’t see this as the beginning of the end of her marriage, but rather the beginning of the best part of her marriage. Separating from each other, they soon realize what each means to the other. It will also help you calm your emotions enough to reach a point where you can clearly determine whether it is possible to move towards a stronger, happier, kinder marriage or whether to make the separation more permanent. both your best interests. You will never know the strength of your connection to your wife unless you put it to the test and put your faith in her and yourself to weather the storm.
