Nothing gets on my nerves more than things that masquerade as something they are not, especially when it comes to health and fitness. Now I have even more things on my mind.
1. “Eat what you want and lose weight” Diet pills and carbohydrate blockers
What a wonderful message to send to the millions of people who are trying to lose weight. You don’t need to watch what you eat or exercise … just take this little pill and you can eat Sausage Stuffed Frozen Twinkies and not gain a pound.
No matter what all these terrible things are doing to your insides, there is also the vicious cycle of loss and recovery that diet pill manufacturers build their entire business on: You eat like junk to get fat and then take a pill so you can. keep eating like junk while losing weight. When you don’t take the pill and continue to eat like garbage, you get fat and depressed and need to take the pills again. What better way to sell something than to create a physical and emotional dependency on it!
Now I’m not saying the general population shouldn’t know better than to fall for this, but there’s a reason toothpicks and shampoo come with instructions on the back and why hair dryers come with a warning. not to operate while standing in a pool of water.
Here’s a thought, and forgive me if I’m out of line, if you can’t eat it unless you take a pill to keep your body from digesting it, maybe maybe, just maybe, you shouldn’t eat it. first …
2. “Certified” personal trainers who do not have business training staff
When I say this, I want you to know that I have nothing against certified personal trainers, I am one! I just don’t like to see a “certified trainer” have a confident beginner do a rotary barbell press with one arm closed behind the neck. Pushing vertically with an inclined arm while he or she stands there and counts the number of times he or she is move the weight up and down.
It takes a little more than a two-hour seminar and a polo shirt with the gym’s name printed on the front to turn a person into a qualified personal trainer.
3. Fitness instructors who eat donuts in front of clients
Just because you’re 20 years old and can metabolize vulcanized rubber doesn’t mean you should be eating a bag of potato chips or donuts in front of people who are desperately trying to lose weight by taking a class you’re teaching and looking for. you as a role model! If you want to eat junk, that’s fine, do it in your spare time. When your habits catch up with you in a few years (and they will), there will always be fat loss pills and carb blockers to turn to …
4. Envy for weight loss due to illness
Have you ever been very, very sick, lost 10 or 20 pounds in a week and then someone came up to you and said “I wish I could get sick like you so I can lose weight”?
Start with the fat on your head! How come these people never get their wish?
5. Sad but true
Another brilliant way to lose weight. Take laxatives with every meal so that NOTHING is retained in you for more than a few minutes. Just go for a 3-day fast food cheeseburger with every meal; you will get the same general effect.
6. Lose weight by wearing increasingly light clothing each time you weigh
This is kind of funny, but I’ve seen it happen. Start by wearing thick winter clothes and weigh yourself. Next week, take off your jacket – you’ve lost 5 pounds! Congratulations! Go in the snow pants next week. Another 3 pounds. The sweater looks like this: 2 more pounds. When you put on the bottom of a pajama and a tank top, be careful … you may have to start exercising 🙂
7. Foods that are only 10% real
How can a juice call itself a juice if it is only 10% real juice? Can I pay for the juice with 10% real money? How come they don’t advertise it as 90% fake? Some say it is half empty, others say it is half full. I say it is only 10% real. Who can say who is right?
8. The diet patch again because it’s so stupid
I just saw another ad for this the other day. “Burns 500 calories per hour!” If you think your metabolism is going to go so fast from a simple, useless patch, go to the emergency room. Sign a blank check and return it. Tell them to do what they want to you because you will believe everything they tell you.
9. Cereal bars “with all the nutrition of a cereal bowl”
And all the high fructose corn syrup from a can of Coke. And all the fiber of a chewing gum. And all the preservatives in a jelly jar. If you want to impress me, you should base these cereal bars on cereals that are really GOOD to start with!
10. Women featured in “Shape” magazine who have never touched a weight in their life.
I guess when they say “shape” they don’t really specify exactly what “shape” can be. Marshmallows are shaped. Twinkies are shaped. There may be women who aspire to the ideal of not having any muscle tone, but they are probably not buying this magazine, they are using it to prop up the short leg of their sofa.
Call me crazy, but I think a magazine that deals with health and fitness should have photos of people who are really healthy and fit.
11. Low Carb Hershey Bars
The day I saw one of these on the candy shelf was the day I knew the low carb craze had really gone too far. Eating low carb isn’t about carefully charting how bad you can eat while keeping your carb count low, as many food manufacturers seem to think.
Eating low carb is all about improving your health and reducing your body fat by eating naturally low carb foods, not about how many grams of sugar alcohol “gottapoopitol” you can fit into a disgusting, chewy, bad tasting copycat candy bar. .
12. Supplement companies disguising their bottles as prescription drugs
While some companies rely on fancy images and hype to sell their products, other companies make the packaging generic and resemble a powerful prescription drug. Guess what? Things still don’t work out. It just seems like it does.
When is a fat loss pill worth $ 150 a bottle? When the bottle is filled with 5 twenty and fifty.
13. People who jump on the diet bandwagon and then criticize others for not eating the way they do
My thanks to Dustin J. for giving me the idea for this one:
Just because you’re eating low carb doesn’t mean everyone else in the world is an idiot when they bite into an apple. Eating low carb certainly works. So does eating low-fat. Hell, you could lose weight on a chocolate-based diet because you’ll get so tired you won’t want to eat it anymore.
Eat what you want to eat, but don’t hack others for the things you were doing last week. Are we going to have to start dividing restaurants into “Carbs” and “No Carbs” sections like smokers?
If you feel like you need to eat whole packages of Jimmy Dean sausage for breakfast, lunch, and dinner because you “can,” then keep it to yourself. Trust me on this … no one watching buttered bacon stuff your face wants to know how the apple you just ate is going to fatten and kill you.
