Just as you can’t expect to get along with everyone you meet, you can’t expect to be liked by all the students you teach. However, when a simple personality clash turns more personal and you are the victim of a verbal attack from a student, you need to take it seriously.
Insults can range from rude or blatant, such as telling a teacher to “go away,” to those involving the wearing of clothing, racism, or derogatory comments based on the teacher’s appearance, gender, etc. Please note: Studies conducted by teachers’ unions show that many teachers experience a daily torrent of verbal abuse, foul language and personal abuse. You don’t have to put up with it.
Make it known that you have a zero-tolerance policy for verbal abuse or foul language, and set definite penalties for dealing with this behavior. Make sure your classes are familiar with this policy and are clear about what you will and will not tolerate.
As with any unwanted behavior, stay calm and don’t react on a personal level, no matter how angry or upset the student made you feel. Verbal insults are often a form of power-seeking or revenge behavior. The student may be testing the waters to see how far they can push it. Older students are more likely to use clothing to try to prompt you to react.
Tell the student firmly that this type of language or manner of speaking is not acceptable and will not be tolerated. He may want to request an apology, and if it comes (a genuine one), it’s good practice to accept it and move on.
If the student shows no remorse or if the abuse is escalating, continue to be assertive but not aggressive. Never lower yourself to the student’s level and respond with your own insults. If necessary, give the student a time out to allow them to calm down. Give the student the opportunity to take responsibility for the behavior and correct it. Tell him that she needs him or her to think before speaking, and that this language is causing more problems.
It is important that verbal insults are punished, to enforce your zero tolerance policy. While you can tactically ignore many silly comments or impulsive insults, be clear about what you expect of your students to foster an atmosphere of mutual respect and trust.
Remember: Most verbal abuse and insults from students are off-the-cuff remarks and not part of any deep-seated resentment or hatred.
