Ever since Eve first persuaded Adam to take a bite of the forbidden fruit, men and women have been blaming each other for their sins. Men cheat on women. Women cheat men. We blame our partners when our relationships hit the rocks.
But why do men and women cheat in the first place? What possible reasons can someone give for having an affair, sneaking away for a weekend, or even a drunken night out? Studies suggest that men and women have many complex reasons, but there are clear differences between the genders.
When it comes to cheating on their partners, men seem to be opportunistic. They take a risk and make the decision to look for another woman if the opportunity presents itself. In the workplace, especially in the business world, men and women spend many hours together and naturally flirt with each other. In an office, men wear suits, while women dress to impress. In a factory, manufacturing plant, or production line, men and women work closely together and get to know each other whether they want to or not. On a night out, we will all notice members of the opposite sex, unknowingly or not. Temptation is everywhere. The only factor that makes a man cross the line from looking to touching is opportunity. And, of course, the woman.
We all know people who are now separated or divorced from what we thought was the ‘perfect’ relationship. Two people who, as a couple, seemed to be a match made in heaven. But then he was presented with an opportunity to cheat and he took it. Because she thought she could get away with it? Not precisely. Why wasn’t her love life at her house the best? Again, not quite. She did it because she could. He was there, available, tempting, sexy, and in her face. It meant nothing, but it also meant everything. And who was the architect of this deception? A woman!
For most men, women are complicated, sexy, dangerous, and devious. While women will say they don’t understand what drives a man, men really don’t have a clue where to start with women. Emotions play an important role in women’s lives, while men have more primitive impulses. When a woman is unhappy in a marriage, it can be something very simple, but it manifests itself in complex ways. Women seem to ‘feel’ much more than men, and think along slightly different lines. Women have exactly the same opportunities to cheat as men, possibly more. The difference seems to be that women make plans to cross the line. It is a much more significant action. Sometimes, like for a man, it’s purely about sex, but most of the time it’s about the relationship itself. Many women cheat for years, hoping that something will come of it. Men are more like dogs. Chase a woman, catch a woman, jump and jump. Women, in general, cheat to alienate a man from their partner, to fill an emotional void in their own relationship, or for her own satisfaction.
When it comes to alcohol, the rules change slightly. Drinking makes us all feel something different than normal. Some people get brave, some develop a cocky attitude, some get loud and crazy, some get a little withdrawn. A few drinks means we all lose a bit of common sense. But blaming alcohol for our actions is never enough. Drinking may allow some people to lose their inhibitions, but it slows down and inhibits our motor functions. When men are drunk, sexual performance suffers. When a woman is drunk, her logical thought process goes out the window. She wants to show that she is ready for anything.
Women who are unfaithful will probably admit that they still love their partner, but feel that he doesn’t appreciate her or show her the same level of attention as their lover.
So men take a chance if it shows up, and women feel something is missing and look elsewhere. While any cheated couple is rightly outraged, before they pick up the phone to call the nearest divorce lawyer, they should consider where the fault really lies.
It takes two people to create a bad marriage or relationship. Are you currently doing enough to keep your partner loved and excited? If not, why not? You must do everything possible to keep your relationship fresh and intense. Then look at your partner. What will you lose if you cheat? Really worth it?
Remember that in order for your partner to have an affair, there must be someone of the opposite sex ready, willing, and available to take your place. This means that you have an attractive spouse, but it also means that you must work hard to keep that spouse happy and focused on your own relationship.
