What to expect
1. Achievement
First of all, a coach must help you achieve what you want to achieve. In the Harvard Business Review article on executive coaches, Ram Charan says they will help you “understand how to act.” This is true for a personal trainer at any level, in whatever field he is operating in, because it is through understanding how to act that he sees the clear path to his goal and can move forward to achieve it.
How they do it will be different depending on you, the coach, and what you are aiming for. It could be to clarify goal setting, helping you break things down into small pieces so you can see more and faster results to keep you motivated. Alternatively, it could be to bring you to your realistic senses so that your goals are more manageable for the circumstances you find yourself in. It might even result in you assessing who you are and what resources you need before hitting the road.
The tools they use for that will vary as well. However, expect any coach to ask deep, probing questions that get to the heart of the matter quickly; They will challenge you and make you think, process, and make decisions about what you want. Other aspects of the methods they use to obtain results should be clearly explained upon request. If not, ask yourself why not.
2. Improvement
A coach can then help you by helping you change your view of the world or your view of yourself to something that is more resourceful and allows you to act in a better way. Sometimes our predictions about our own poor performance, negative thoughts about ourselves or the interventions of other people in our life or a slight vision of things will prevent us from obtaining the results we want. I have a friend who regularly prepares for poor performance so that she never has to deal with the failure of disappointment. A coach can change that. Again, there are a variety of tools, and NLP-related techniques are key in this area of altering your brain’s processing patterns (if the initials misled you, ask your coach to explain). I agree with Michael Maccoby (again quoted in the HBR article) who says that a coach should make you “more competent and self-sufficient”.
3. Responsibility
Sometimes all you need from a coach is some responsibility. You know what you have to do, but you put it off because it is not essential, you do not have enough self-discipline for something that is a bit difficult or nobody really expects results because it is purely an improvement in your own personal life. Having a coach challenge you and check to see if you’ve completed the goals you’ve set for yourself is often all the extra push you need to get there.
4. Listen
Finally, a coach will listen to you. It’s another of the key skills of a good coach, like asking questions. Sometimes this is the only skill you need from them because you find that speaking words out loud causes you to process internally in some way. To say it, you have to own it, so a decision has already been made in your head. At other times, when he pulls out the words, he somehow realizes how absurd they are and changes his mind because of it.
See the possibilities
All of this, although it hardly hints at what you can be like after working with a coach. Positive changes in you and your power properly harnessed and put to work can do great things that generally must be experienced on a personal level to be understood. If you still have doubts about what is possible, listen to a few people who have experienced it for themselves. Most trainers will have a section on their websites for testimonials or what others say. Read them through, and even with a pinch of salt to counteract the self-promoting nature of the page, you’ll see some of the results that are possible.
What not to expect
There are some things you can expect from a coach that I hope they won’t do for you. In some cases it would be inadvisable to expect them to do so, and in others it would be almost fraudulent for a coach to offer it.
1. Therapy
Coaching focuses on the future, not the past. While there are some coaching techniques, particularly within NLP, that can help you overcome past obstacles, if you need to actively deal with something, then you need a therapist. Now, it’s fair to say that some coaches will also be qualified as therapists of some sort, so they might be capable and well qualified to do both. If you think you need the services of a therapist, be careful who you hire. On the contrary, if your coach is diverted by some kind of therapy, have him explain himself and, if you feel uncomfortable, stop him.
2. Get what you don’t want
This leads to the second thing they shouldn’t do, which is something you don’t want them to do. Coaching is about helping you get where you want to be. If you don’t want to go where they take you, say so. If they explain it as a means to an end (hopefully they will understand their own processes and know how they will help you get to your destination) then it might be workable, but as a buyer of the service, you should be satisfied with what you are putting on.
3. Advice
If a coach gives feedback, you would expect it to be preceded by ‘Would it be okay if I gave you any feedback?’, Or similar words. Coaching tends to be non-directive by its very nature. You may choose to hire a coach who has been through experiences similar to yours, but you still don’t expect them to advise you. For that you should try a consultant, trainer or mentor. A coach aims to help you make the most of the resources you already have, and if you are offered new ones, it should be clear that this is a different process than the coaching conversation. Their role is not primarily to advise you.
4. Someone to do it for you
A coach will help you push yourself to get the results you want. They will provide help and assistance along the way, but are essentially a facilitator, not a doer. If you want someone to do things for you, it is no longer a matter of personal growth and achievement and is instead just about getting things done. This is good; just hire someone who is not a coach.
Summary
A coach will listen to you, challenge you, and help you hold yourself accountable. They will help you better achieve your goals and possibly improve the way you deal with the world. What’s not to like?
