If you have a school-age child displaying behavioral problems, you’ve learned what ‘frustrating’ and ‘burned out’ mean.
Sometimes it can be hard to tell if your child has a small problem or a bigger one. As a parent, you want everything to go smoothly, and it can be easy to quickly magnify any situation. Your home life can go from serene to chaotic in no time, and it’s easy to start feeling like things are out of control.
Let’s face it, all children have problems, just like adults. The real question is how serious the problem is and what we can do to improve it.
Now, I’m not a therapist or a doctor. I am a mother with over 27 years of parenting experience and based on that experience, here are my thoughts on recognizing behavior problems in children.
Mild behavior problems.
In this category we have the garden variety challenges faced by school-age children.
= Not doing housework.
= Sloth.
= Not doing things the first time they are told (or the third or fifth).
= Procrastination.
= Occasionally disrespectful speech. My mother used to call it “sassy”.
Mild behavior problems in school-age children have a lot to do with the child’s individual temperament. If you have a strong-willed child, you gave up mild behavior problems a long time ago! In general, these types of issues can be mostly resolved with clear boundaries and firm reminders. Task charts can be helpful and fun in this process.
== Moderate behavior problems.
All children visit this section at least from time to time. Here you can expect to find:
= More regular homework problems.
= Occasional problems at school.
= Possible bullying.
= Talk again.
= A LOT of foot dragging when doing work around the house.
These types of behaviors demand stricter limits, more serious consequences, and a 100 percent execution rate. Obviously, having your child see the error of his ways at this stage will be better than him moving on to the next stage.
== Severe behavior problems.
These are the kinds of problems that completely upset a family. (Remember, these are for school-age children, ages 5-13.)
= Frequently disruptive at school.
= Drug/alcohol use.
= Vulgar speech used against others.
= Run away.
= Violent.
These are not easy problems to fix. They are often deep-rooted and can be exacerbated by the onset of drug or alcohol use. They often require professional help as well as committed family effort.
In all these categories, I have just given a sample of behavior problems. Real life is much more complex. And all children exhibit signs from more than one category from time to time.
As a parent, you know your own child better than anyone. If you notice that your school-age child’s behavior problems are getting worse, take steps to help him sooner rather than later. Investigate the child’s behavior, read books, ask questions and, if necessary, seek professional help.
Everyone has difficulties, but steps can be taken to minimize those problems. Behavior problems in school-age children can be mild, moderate, or severe. Whatever level your son is facing, he can learn to handle her challenges and become the responsible adult she knows he can be.
