When we were little, we saw our parents as invincible people, who cared for us, protected and loved us no matter what. They were our first heroes who were always there when we needed them. But like the rest of humanity, our parents will grow old, some will even die young. My father died when he was only 58 years old while my mother is now 77 years old. For active people like my mother, getting older can be difficult and life becomes more of a strain. The past few months I see her increasingly struggling with her physical disabilities and coming to terms with the fact that this limits her social interactions outside of our home. As a father myself, I know the sacrifices parents make to raise her children, and as the son of an aging mother, I feel it appropriate that I help her lead a happy and comfortable life in her later years.
Make time for your elderly parents
I always try to make time for my mother. I know we all have jobs or families or other important things to do with our time and our parents know it. My mother, even now that she needs help getting around, is always very considerate of my schedule and she wouldn’t ask for help unless she really needed it. Because? Because she doesn’t want to bother me. Something we never thought about when we were kids. Children have a sense of entitlement and expect their parents to always be there, even for the most trivial reasons. On the other hand, parents always think about the well-being of their children first and carry this concern to the last breath. Our parents need to be sure that it is not a problem for us to do things for them. Try to visit them regularly, spend time talking with them, keeping them abreast of what is happening in our lives. This would make them more in tune with the times and less isolated from the world… and from us.
Anticipate your needs or desires.
I remember when I was in college and living with my maternal grandmother, I would go to the book sale and buy romance novels that she loved to read. The glow on her face was worth some of my weekend money. But it doesn’t always have to be something material. It can be an errand, a chat, or just to accompany you on your shopping and shopping trips. Sometimes it is enough to take her out of the house for a short walk.
Don’t force them to do something they don’t like.
But don’t force anything on them. Sometimes our good intentions are not what they need or want. Remember that our parents are different people from us. Just like when we were teenagers and didn’t like to do the things they thought were best, our parents wouldn’t like to be forced to do something they don’t want to either. It is always appropriate to ask them first and not take them for granted.
Be patient and kind
Our parents can become so sensitive as they get older. Perhaps contributing to this is the fact that little by little they are losing their independence and authority. We should be more careful with our comments and reactions to its limitations. A few years ago, we bought my mom a new cell phone and she was having a hard time using it. After almost a week of tutorials, she still couldn’t understand it and unfortunately I got exasperated saying something I shouldn’t and hurt her feelings. Of course, I made amends, but I also learned that patience and kindness must be practiced at all times.
ask for their advice
Our parents may be getting old, but that doesn’t mean they lack wisdom. My paternal grandmother was one of those people. She was just a high school graduate, but her life experiences made her wise in her old age. I learned a lot from our little cats, lessons that I apply in my life to this day. Try to involve your parents when you need to make important decisions. You may be surprised at the advice you receive. And by doing this, they continue to feel relevant and useful. It also does wonders for your self-esteem.
Always give due respect to our parents.
Whatever type of parents we have, we should always treat them with respect. They may not have been perfect and probably even let us down in more ways than one, but there’s no denying the sacrifices our parents made for us. Without a doubt, his love for us is without measure.
The saddest thing about getting old is being forgotten and losing relevance in society. We see a lot of older people pushed aside, placed in homes, and basically abandoned. Our elderly parents need us. A thoughtful call, a quiet visit, a lively chat, surely isn’t too much to ask. After all, we too will grow old one day.
