We strolled down the palm-lined street in the warm Florida night, my sister and I, my grandmother and her friend. The laughter was loud and the wine flowed from the overflowing glasses they carried in their hands. No doubt they were enjoying their vacation. But then again, it was hard to tell when my grandmother was in vacation mode and when she was her normal boisterous, fun-loving me. That particular night, she saw a Rolls Royce… her dream car. Glass of wine in hand, she jumped on the hood and begged us to take her picture. That is a moment in time I will never forget.
Whether my grandmother was partying with her sisters, hosting large family Christmas gatherings, running her 30+ boutique, caring for her orchids, or making sure she was doing her duty as a devout Catholic by making sure we all attended mass every Sunday She was always the life of the party.
There was not a day that I was not surrounded by my beloved grandfather and his husband of 71 years. By all accounts, she lived a good and long life. At 92, her failing health proved to be too much and she passed away peacefully in her home. The fact that she was at home instead of a nursing home or hospital was a blessing for our family. We could call and visit with security protocols until her last hours.
For a woman who would have wanted the party of her “life” (pun intended), her funeral was attended by fewer than 30 of her closest relatives. Cousins and relatives who lived out of state were told to stay home for fear of spreading covid to each other and to my 96-year-old grandfather.
Our small group of relatives attended the funeral, buried her in the cemetery, and gathered at her home for an informal cookout. He was uncomfortable, not knowing how to act if we couldn’t hug each other, tell stories out loud, talk up close, ourselves. My heart ached for the normalcy of our pre-pandemic family gatherings.
I know that others have felt the side effects of Covid and its impact on their experiences around death and emotions of grief. In fact, others have suffered much worse than our family. Complaining is a common thread running through society during a pandemic. If the emotion of the grievance is due to the loss of a job, a loved one, a relationship, a pet, a home, etc. isolation amplifies our dark emotions.
After my family’s experience with my grandmother’s passing, I began surfing the web to see what resources were out there for families in situations like ours.
