The main focus of my work is to discuss how women reach orgasm during sex. This article presents another perspective on the topic by illustrating how women approach sex expecting rewards in the larger relationship rather than the orgasm itself as men do.
It is clear that women are not stimulated to orgasm as easily as men. Otherwise, there would not be such an intense interest in the female orgasm and how it is achieved during sex. Relatively few women can masturbate to orgasm. Women’s orgasm experience is positively endorsed when associated with a relationship.
However, even when they describe sex as orgasmic, women are not as motivated by sex as men. Early on, a man’s much higher sex drive means he usually initiates sex. The resulting insecurity leads men to focus on the female orgasm as a goal to motivate a woman to be more interested in sex in the long run.
The idea of female orgasm excites men and consequently increases the sexual attractiveness of women. Feminists suggest that women “deserve to have an orgasm.” Unfortunately there is no ‘orgasm fairy’. If a woman wants to enjoy something that men enjoy, then she needs to engage in ‘adult’ psychology along with explicit clitoral stimulation.
Tracey Cox, the Australian editor, admits: “Few of us reach orgasm without fantasy…” (1998) This article explores the different expectations men and women have of sex in relationships and the issues that challenge the long-term sexual life of a couple. Playing the enthusiastic long-term lover tests a woman’s generosity to the limit. A man needs to be realistic: no woman is a ‘sex bomb’ every day for decades. Make the most of the opportunities that come your way and be prepared to push yourself.
- What is ‘female sexual desire’ given that reproduction occurs independently of female orgasm?
- Why don’t women initiate sex even though it is their only form of sexual expression?
- Why is it always men who herd women into crowded buses and subways?
- How often do you hear women exchanging ideas on how to enjoy sexual pleasure?
- Why is my email inbox full of spam from women offering sexual pleasure to men?
- Why do so many men research female sexuality and advise on the female orgasm?
- How can a woman have an orgasm from stimulation that only excites another?
- Why are vibrators associated with women’s sexual pleasure and not men’s?
- Why don’t women exchange different techniques to please their partner?
Sexual phenomena, such as arousal and orgasm, are based on explicitly adult themes. Anyone who restricts these phenomena to a love relationship confuses the sensual and emotional aspects of arousal with the true sexual release of orgasm.
I am not being deliberately contrary. Women’s sexuality should be defined in terms of women’s real-life experiences rather than those that men might wish they had.
