Few people realize it, but spirituality and sexuality are the two most sacred aspects of yourself. When you share any of these with someone, you are sharing on the deepest and most intimate level. Because they are connected to each other, when someone experiences sexual abuse, they also experience spiritual violence.
Types of sexual abuse
There are six basic types of physical sexual abuse:
- Incest or sexual abuse by a family member or loved one
- Incest or sexual abuse by a stranger
- Rape by a stranger
- Rape by someone you know (date rape) or loved one (spousal rape)
- Sexual abuse by an authority or spiritual leader
- Sexual abuse by a secular authority figure such as a therapist, police officer, or other authority
There is also victimization that is difficult for the victim to identify if they do not feel “slime”. Examples of this are found in:
- Being subjected to pornography at a young age
- A parent or caregiver who refuses to give their child privacy while bathing or dressing
- Being subjected to pornography without choice
- Comments or jokes that are explicitly sexual and demeaning.
- Double-message comments or jokes that are sexual and demeaning.
- Inappropriate hugging or fondling (no genital contact which is physical sexual abuse)
- Unwanted lustful looks or actions
When sexual abuse is spiritual abuse
I am going to make a general statement here. All that exploitation of a child, whether physical or otherwise, is spiritual violence. These actions can result in:
- A feeling of shame, that something is damaged or wrong with them.
- Distrust of people in general
- Anger and distrust of God or the Spirit for not protecting them
- Feeling insecure in their surroundings no matter where they are.
Then of course there is the perpetrator who is a spiritual or religious authority figure. These actions, regardless of the age of the victim, result in deep spiritual wounds. An individual representing a Being who is supposed to be pure love violates trust in the most primary way. The victimized begins to doubt the love of God. Does God also violate one’s trust? Does God really care?
One aspect of spirituality is reliance on inner knowing that is connected to the Divine. If trust in the Divine is broken, then the individual doubts his own inner knowledge. The victimized individual has difficulty finding personal inner direction and power. He is usually very alert and always afraid of being hurt again in such a profound way. Unfortunately, fear itself sends a signal that shows as a “victim” and exploitation may be lured again.
