Too much description is one of the biggest flaws a book can have. Too many distracting details from the plot of the story or its characters will make readers bored, skip sections of the description, and perhaps even give up on reading the book. As author Elmore Leonard has said in his “Ten Rules of Writing”: “Leave out the boring parts.”
But how do you leave out the boring parts while still providing the details needed to describe the characters or setting? Here are some tips for creating an effective description.
Hook up the reader now. Describe later. The Victorians didn’t much care for the description. But they had much more time to read than we did because they had limited entertainment: no movies, no computers, no VR or video games to play, not so much media vying for their attention. Their novels tended to be three volumes and they didn’t care how long it took them to read a book because they often didn’t have many books to read. Today’s readers are different. They want manageable stories, ones that they can read in a few hours, sitting down, and keeping up.
The trick to good storytelling now is to hook the reader right away. The Victorian authors could have spent the entire first chapter describing the house where the characters live or the quirks of the main character, all in a third-person narrative. Today’s reader will rebel. Instead, start in the middle of the action. Write an attention-grabbing sentence to start the book, such as: “No one knew how Joanie died, but when her body was found with green skin and the smell of rotten fish, it was very clear that she was dead.” “This type of sentence immediately makes the reader curious to know what happened, so he will continue reading. It is also a good idea to start with a line of dialogue, a question or statement that raises questions, for example:” What do you think? Does it make you think I’d do something crazy like accept a green card marriage with you? “Judy demanded. The question grabs the reader’s attention, making him want to know what this situation is about.
None of these examples have anything to do with the description, but that’s my point. Avoid the description until you have the interest of the reader. Keep that first chapter as a page turn and save the description for later. Start in the middle of the action, a crucial moment for the main character, and then in the second chapter, having hooked the reader, you can continue to describe the character and the setting.
Describe only what is significant. Do you want to bore the reader? Describe everything. The authors of the 19th century were good at it. Victor Hugo launched a full chapter in the middle of the action to describe what Notre Dame Cathedral was like, while the reader said: “Let’s go back to the hunchback and Esmeralda.” Often these old authors would have a scene where two characters meet. The first character enters the room where the second character is sitting, and before a word leaves their mouths, we are given a description of the room – perhaps the second character’s office – that continues in paragraphs. You may know about dusty bookshelves in the room, peeling wallpaper, cracked window glass, etc. they all bring atmosphere and help us to know that this second character is a failed lawyer. But a paragraph of that at most is enough. We don’t need to know about the broken clock, Victorian lamps, mahogany desk, swivel chair, etc. And unless this room is the setting for several more scenes, there is no point in bringing all of this information before the reader’s eyes.
Golden Rule. If an element or character is important to the plot, describe it. If not, ignore it. For example, it is worth describing a family heirloom wedding ring that was lost but must be found and will have the center of the plot all around it. Wallpaper in a room is not, unless its pattern is actually the disguise of a treasure map. The same goes for people. The girl from Kinko’s who makes copies for the main character does not need to be described unless she is in multiple scenes and a recurring character for whom the main character has feelings, or is someone with feelings for the main character who is going to act on those feelings. , which will make it important to the plot.
Again, “Leave out the boring parts.”
Give the character, not the narrator, descriptive power. Which of these two passages is more effective?
- Mark was a tall young man of twenty-three. He was a bit skinny, which made him less attractive than his beefier male friends, but in a few years, as his friends gained weight, this slim exterior would serve Mark well. He wore a button-down shirt and glasses and had the appearance of a nerd, but his pleasant manners, good looks, and piercing blue eyes still made the ladies pay attention.
- When Mark and Trevor entered the room, Sheila’s eyes were instantly drawn to Trevor for his muscular build, dark hair and eyes, and his sensual walk. It wasn’t until he left the dance floor that his friend Mark went unnoticed. When Sheila saw Mark smile while laughing with another girl, she instantly felt a rush of jealousy because she could tell from his honest look that he was real and had better genes. He was tall and lean, while Trevor’s muscles would soon grow fat. Sheila desperately wanted a baby. She was tired of playboys, and Mark had that responsible look, a fancy button-down shirt instead of Trevor’s tight black T-shirt, that made Sheila think she might have found her son’s father.
Which description is better? I hope you think it is the second. What makes this second description better? It is more attractive because we learn about more than one character; actually, three characters are described here. The description is more effective because the two characters Mark and Trevor are compared to each other and a judgment is made about them. We do not have an omniscient or indifferent point of view; we get the point of view of the main female character, and by learning how she describes herself to the men she sees, we also learn something about her character. Best of all, the description progresses the plot. We have the character’s motivation for the events that are about to happen in the novel. We know where the plot is heading. Sheila will try to win over Mark, and we even have the possibility of a love triangle since Trevor is Mark’s friend, but also a player who could end up interested in Sheila. There are many possibilities with this passage and the reader is curious as to what will happen.
Putting the description in the eyes of another character is also effective through dialogue. Sheila could ask her friend Veronica if she knows Mark, and then they can have a discussion about him that adds to the details and description of the character. It is much more interesting than a simple description.
Challenge Description: Pay attention to the novels and stories you read. Find yourself flipping through passages? Stop and ask yourself why. Is it because you want to know what’s going to happen and the description gets in your way? You’re bored? If you were writing the book, how would you do it differently?
Look at the descriptive passages in the story or novel you are writing. How can you modify them so that places and people are described through a character’s eyes rather than your own as the narrator?
Good writing means having control over descriptive passages. Not making the description effective bogs down the story and disconnects your readers. Transform your description into part of the plot and character development and watch your story transform into something extraordinary.
