People often think of falling in love and, in one way or another, suddenly falling out of love. Well, there is a certain feeling where we can feel a sudden rush of adrenaline every time we see, or we stay with that person in the same room, or if by chance, we talk to that person one on one or with a group. Some may falsely think that it is already LOVE. We tend to fall in love with or admire someone for certain personalities or characteristics, most of the time the physical “thing”. Later, when we get to know the person more, some of their attitudes discourage us and we finally decide that we no longer like them. Can you imagine the time span? Very short.
Real love is never like this. It is so different from the kind of love that most of us have known our entire lives that it deserves both a name, Real Love, and a definition of its own. Real love is caring for someone else’s happiness without thinking about what we might get for ourselves. It is also Real Love when other people unconditionally care about our happiness. It is not Real Love when other people like us for doing what they want. We can be sure that we are receiving Real Love only when we make foolish mistakes, when we fail to do what other people want, and even when we get in their way, but they are not disappointed or irritated with us. That is Real Love (true unconditional love), and that love alone has the power to heal all wounds, bring people together, and create relationships beyond our current ability to imagine.
It is love when we accept everything about the person, including the bad side. Attitude will never matter again because hopes that the person will still change are high. All your friends, even if we don’t have the same ideals or interests with them, they will become our friends too. Everything that the person loves, we will learn to love as well. We will really adapt to everything: environment, your likes and dislikes, etc. And even if time passes, our love for the person never fades.
But, there are still some exceptions about love. There are several things that love really is not.
* Love is not an emotion. Although real love is often accompanied by strong feelings, love is not equated with the feeling of floating in the clouds. Unlike the kind of love that movies, television, and songs show, people in love don’t always feel clingy to each other. A relationship wouldn’t last long with emotions. In fact, knowledge is the foundation of a healthy relationship.
* Love is not sex. That statement alone goes against much of what the entertainment industry feeds us. Whenever two people get hooked on pop culture, they have sex. Without showing some of the unpleasant realities of premarital and extramarital sex, it is crafted to be a wonderful and fun recreational activity.
Sex is created for marriage, a lasting commitment between a couple. Outside of marriage, sex can have harsh consequences. Pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, guilt, insecurity, and shame can follow. A relationship based on lust can only last as long as the two of you are physically close and sexually attractive.
* Love is not a choice. It’s a compromise. Although feelings will accompany love, and although sex will be part of marriage, a long-lasting and healthy relationship cannot be based on these things. A person involved in a relationship must be aware that when entering it, they must be committed to our partners. I mean, fidelity should be a big problem.
True love hits our hearts at the right time. We will know if the time we dedicate to our relationship does not diminish our feelings for our partner. We can still see our world in his eyes and his world in ours. And instead of falling in love with the person, we will love him more as time goes on.
